The Bill of Our Amended Rights

The Bill of Our Amended Rights

Amendment I - Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, unless they are financial donors; or abridging the freedom to censor speech, or to deny access to the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble and be beaten, and to file an ignorable petition to the Government for a redress of grievances.

Amendment II - A completely unregulated Militia, being necessary to the security of the NRA, the right of the people to keep and bear the most deadly assault weapons imaginable, shall not be infringed.

Amendment III - No Soldier shall, in moment of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by executive demands.

Amendment IV - The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall be violated by wiretap routinely, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon the chance of a possible cause, supported by opinion.

Amendment V – Beware of drones.

Amendment VI - In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a prolonged overdrawn publicly broadcast trial, by an partisan jury of the opposite race wherein the crime shall have been committed, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the raving lunatics against him; to have no witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Incompetent Counsel for his plea.

Amendment VII - In Suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty thousand dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be denied an appeal, unless based on race or income.

Amendment VIII - Bail shall not be required for business crime, nor fines less than half of income imposed on the impoverished, nor punishments more cruel and unusual than in 2008 shall be inflicted, except at Guantanamo Bay

Amendment IX - The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall be forcefully construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

Amendment X – Only the Electoral College will be delegated to the States; discrimination will be provided at the will of the people

 

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Now read how they were actually written. What changes do you think most represent our current rights as they are handled by government?